Love that Reaches Beyond the Obvious

The speaker paused. The room was silent. A slight smirk stretched across his face. “You fired up yet?” he asked his audience a snarky tone. I shook my head slowly and looked at the floor. I turned and discreetly surveyed the reactions of my fellow audience members. Their eyes were filled with shock and rage at the story the speaker had told. I sat back in my seat. “This isn’t right,” I thought to myself.


 The speaker continued to discuss the issues with governmental control over the public school system, and the evolutionary teachings present in the classrooms that were being taught as scientific fact. He enlightened us with the story of when he attempted to use original texts of founding documents in his history class, which landed him in court. He gracelessly demeaned our evolutionary opponents and their unscientific, improbable, and manipulative ideas about the origin and development of life.


 I left disappointed. I sat in my room that evening, still uncomfortable with how the speaker had presented his position, and slightly angered at his subtle manipulation of an audience who was ready and willing to soak up his rhetoric. “There are people behind those comments,” I said to myself as I continued to think, “People who aren’t stupid, people who deserve respect, people who will never relinquish their opinion or position unless given the adequate opportunity.” It wasn't that I disagreed with his points. His points were valid, however, it was his attitude behind the points that was disapointing.


I have been pondering this a lot lately. Only in a debate setting, where your opponent is ready to receive harsh and critical attacks on their position is that type of approach justified. Debates benefit those who are open to believing both sides. However, in order to actually solve a problem, the roots must be address. Those roots are the active proponents of the opposite view, and opponents are not won in a debate setting.


If proponents of a view win people who already agree with them, what good do they do? The young and spunky speaker was addressing an audience filled with conservative Christian individuals who already agreed with him. His attitude and rhetoric were achieving his goal, but for what purpose? Logically, the purpose would be to prompt action. This conclusion leads to the next question. Did the speaker equip his listeners with the right attitude that will enable their action to reach the people behind the issue?


I would say no. As a Christian, if I were met by an evolutionist with an attitude who turns a cold shoulder or breathes flames of arrogant fire against the faith that I hold dear, I would not leave that encounter considering the fact that they could be right. Harsh criticism does not win my will, and in fact, subjecting an individual's perspective to that kind of fire will most likely leave them callously irritated, and even less receptive when another questioner arrives.




With each attack, each side becomes more resistant. So my question is… What if we didn’t attack? What if we didn’t use fire? If we do not embrace those with opposing views, how do we expect to influence them?


For me, the most beneficial and impactful changes to my perspective come from either someone coming alongside me and helping me understand, or, a conclusion that I reach thoughtfully. But having someone try and beat the perspective that I hold dear out of my grasp only makes me cling tighter.
If we want to win our opponents, it takes grace and an understanding of their position. Not only an understanding of their ideas, but also of why they hold those views. There is a reason they cling to that view. We ought to find out why.


It takes a love that reaches beyond the obvious. It requires a desire to understand that reaches beyond a desire to win. It requires a desire to extend grace that reaches beyond a desire to prove a point. And quite frankly, if we desire to understand and extend grace, we set ourselves up for an opponent to acknowledge our point, which is their first step in letting go.