Is an aversion to disapproval from those you respect beneficial because it can prompt a pursuit of excellence, or is it a disadvantage because it can create intense hesitation to act at all for fear of making a mistake?
I think it can do both, depending on who the respected person is and how you are used to interacting with said person. Sometimes a personality can cause you to feel hesitant to act because you don't think they will approve and you don't want to give them a reason to be disappointed, and other times a personality could cause you to pursue excellence because you want them to see that you can do it, and that they can count on you.
However, I think the aversion to disapproval should lead us to pursue excellence no matter who the respected person is. We should try to do our best in everything we do and look to God for approval rather than other people. Therefore, even if you do get disapproval from those you respect, you won't fear making a mistake because you know you tried your best and that God is the final judge, not the other person.
I think the best sort of "respected person" is the kind who sets you at ease. The kind who you know will correct you - either gently or gruffly, it doesn't matter, as long as you adjust to their style. But also the kind who you know believes in you and will bend over backward to meet you in your growth zone and no further. For this sort of person you will police yourself and not need more than a word or two to know something is unacceptable. The reason they'll give you more than a word or two is to help you understand how to improve.
The ideal is not perfection; it is participation in deep progress, founded on mutual respect. Rather than disapproval, you should expect to hear, and give reason to expect, "This is my beloved son/daughter, in whom I am well pleased (s/he has good ideas/gets things done/can be relied on)."
That's been my experience working with Greg and Angela Thomson as a TA in their second language acquisition class this summer.
I think it can do both, depending on who the respected person is and how you are used to interacting with said person. Sometimes a personality can cause you to feel hesitant to act because you don't think they will approve and you don't want to give them a reason to be disappointed, and other times a personality could cause you to pursue excellence because you want them to see that you can do it, and that they can count on you.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think the aversion to disapproval should lead us to pursue excellence no matter who the respected person is. We should try to do our best in everything we do and look to God for approval rather than other people. Therefore, even if you do get disapproval from those you respect, you won't fear making a mistake because you know you tried your best and that God is the final judge, not the other person.
~Amber
I think the best sort of "respected person" is the kind who sets you at ease. The kind who you know will correct you - either gently or gruffly, it doesn't matter, as long as you adjust to their style. But also the kind who you know believes in you and will bend over backward to meet you in your growth zone and no further. For this sort of person you will police yourself and not need more than a word or two to know something is unacceptable. The reason they'll give you more than a word or two is to help you understand how to improve.
ReplyDeleteThe ideal is not perfection; it is participation in deep progress, founded on mutual respect. Rather than disapproval, you should expect to hear, and give reason to expect, "This is my beloved son/daughter, in whom I am well pleased (s/he has good ideas/gets things done/can be relied on)."
That's been my experience working with Greg and Angela Thomson as a TA in their second language acquisition class this summer.